How Deep Does This Hole Go?
by Ray Hagins on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 10:05am
I have received numerous email, inquiries and comments about my posts concerning this matter with Eddie Long. Most have been “thank you” notes for expressing what they have been feeling for so long. A few have been rebukes for being what they consider to be “judgmental” on my part.
The reason why I have spent such an inordinate amount of time on this issue is because I am glad that it is coming out! I am saddened for the victims of this predator, but I am so glad that this is coming to the forefront so that people can begin to see things as they really are. Unfortunately, many will choose NOT to see because of the love that they have for their leaders. There is an adage that says, “There is none so blind as he who WILL NOT see!” I fear that this will be the case for many.
This is a very sensitive area for me primarily for 2 reasons: (1) As a PK (pastor’s kid) I grew up around and saw so much of this kind of mess in the church that it sickens me. (2) As a clinician and therapist I have to deal with trying to heal many of the victims of such predatory behavior. There is not a month that goes by that I don’t get calls from someone who was victimized by someone they trusted. Many of the people that I treat are suffering repressed traumatic syndrome that is now beginning to surface from stuff that happened years ago. 40% of people that come to me were sexually assaulted by their pastor, their youth leader or the minister of music at some point in their lives. So, when this matter of Eddie Long became public it gave me the opportunity to express and release what I have kept bottled up in me for years due to my obligation to the rules of confidentiality.
I will never forget one Monday morning in March of 2005, a pastor called me and said, "I believe God has cursed my ministry." I asked her why she would think such a thing. She said, "Because of the things that happened in my church, that I should have addressed... but I didn't! And now sickness and disease is running wild in my church." Being the kind of woman she was (she is now deceased), she didn’t want to hurt anyone and was under the pressure of not knowing how to handle the issue of homosexuality in her congregation. Several parents had come to her because the minister of music had molested their sons. Not wanting to lose her minister of music or cause harm and embarrassment to anyone, she told the parents, "Let's pray about it and let the Lord handle this." Needless to say, each of those parents removed their membership from the church. The minister of music, his wife, and several of his victims and partners have since died from AIDS.
I could hear the stress in that pastor’s voice from having carried this emotional load of “if only I had done this or that.” I tried to give effective counsel, but I could hear that it was eating away at her. April 2, 2005 she suffered a massive aneurysm and passed away several days later.
I also knew of pastors who had a "collection" of males and females that they not only use in a twisted sexual manner, but offered them to their guest ministers to "service" or "accommodate" them while they are in town. So, understand, I didn't leave the church only because the doctrine was wrong; another reason I left is because I got fed up with having to encounter gay pastors and bishops everywhere I went.
As a national evangelist in a major Pentecostal denomination, state minister of music, and gospel recording artist I have seen it all…up close and personal and it is sickening. To this day I cannot listen to many of the most popular gospel artists because I know them and what they do when they are not on stage. I thank God (with all my being) for putting a fence of protection around me by not getting involved and caught up in that mess.
When I returned to the pulpit by accepting the position of "pastor" of the congregation where I now serve, I was reminded of this sickness that I had been out of the presence of for more than 5 years. At first I was welcomed into the fellowship of pastors in St. Louis. This one pastor took me around and introduced me to all the prominent pastors in the area. Then I began to notice that all of the pastors that he was introducing me to were gay! So, I thought I had better drop a hint on him (just in case he was gay) that I don't play that. He said to me, "Dr. Hagins you need to know these men that I'm introducing you to because this is St. Louis man, and you need to know the right people here."
A couple of weeks later, I was invited to a ministers meeting at this same pastor's office. Being that I had video production equipment he asked me if I would make copies of the video that he was going to show at this meeting for the other pastors. I told him that I would. I was thinking that we were going to meet about developing pastoral skills, community development, perhaps a coalition endeavor, or something like that. When I arrived at this pastor’s church, about 12 of St. Louis' PROMINENT Black pastors were there (all dressed down and relaxed). After about 20 minutes the host pastor said, "We'll brethren let’s get started, and he walked over to the VHS player and put in a tape. I was SHOCKED when I saw the title come across the screen. "Big, Black, and Long." I mean a XXX rated video! I thought to myself, "What the _____ is this? A few minutes later my pager went off and I told them that I had to leave. I later confronted the host pastor about this and explained to him that we have no further reason to fellowship. These were all Black Baptist pastors! This happened in August of 1998.
In October of 1998 the mayor of St. Louis had a meeting in his office with the clergy coalition (of which I was a member). As we were leaving the mayor's office, one of St. Louis’ most prominent Black pastors said to me in the elevator, "Dr. Hagins, we would like to meet with you." I asked, "About what?" He then told me that this pastor (who had hosted this XXX rated video meeting) felt that we should meet at his office to discuss what I am teaching in my pulpit. I told him that they didn't have anything to do with that because it's my pulpit and I will teach what I will.
These Black pastors in St. Louis (led by the same man who hosted this XXX rated video meeting) met and came against me to try to have me removed from my church. I was told by the pastor who spoke to me in the elevator that I would find myself “isolated from the clergy community" in St. Louis. And that is exactly how it has been since then. ALL of the Black pastors in St. Louis began to tell their congregations to avoid going over to New Ephesus (at that time) --- a stigma that we still suffer from today. Unfortunately, in St. Louis, The Afrikan Village has been so vilified by other Black pastors that it is difficult for us to grow as I would like for us to. But so be it!
Again, I MUST refer you to Carlton Pearson's words when he said on CNN that, "Eddie Long is just the tip of the iceberg." He was trying to tell everybody how deep this hole goes, but I don’t think people really want to see it. After you read this article, cut and paste the following link to see Bishop Pearson’s interview about gays in the church. His statement about Eddie Long is near the end of the interview. http://newsroom.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/27/pastor-preaches-inclusion-of-gays/
The entire reason why I had to begin using a security team is because Black PASTORS were threatening to stop me "one way or another." People this is much more serious than many people realize. There is a strong fraternity (for a lack of a better word) among these Black pastors who are into this activity. But then again, that's the warfare!
[SPECIAL NOTE: I need to say at this point, that not all pastors are participants in this type of behavior. I am so glad that I know many more pastors who are good, honest and sincere men and women than I know those who are mentally sick. So, please do not think that ALL pastors are no good and can’t be trusted.]
When I wrote the oath to the Ancestors (that we recite in The Afrikan Village every time we gather for fellowship), I included the following words:
"O Ancestors...Now, stand with us; strengthen us; guide us; teach us, and protect us from the snare of our enemies! Rise up, O Afrikan Ancestors, and let our enemies be scattered! And give us the wisdom and the boldness to deal with our oppressors and THOSE WHO WOULD HINDER THE LIBERATION AND EMPOWERMENT OF OUR PEOPLE. Rise up, O Afrikan Ancestors, and live in us. We will not fail to honor you; We will not fail to respect you; We will not fail to hear you; And we will NOT betray you! Ase." (for those who would like a copy of our Oath To The Ancestors I will post it under another cover).
When I wrote these words I wasn't talking about white people (as many people think)! I was talking about the Eddie Longs and other prominent bishops, pastors and leaders among us who are hindering the liberation and empowerment of our people.
How deep does this hole go? Much deeper than many church folks are ready to know.
No comments:
Post a Comment