How NOT to Talk to Your Girlfriend the Day After Cheating on Her.

How Not to Talk to Your Girlfriend the Day After Cheating on Her

by Jeff Rosenberg on April 03, 2009

Sunday Afternoon. Girlfriend's dorm. Disheveled Boyfriend flops down on the bed as his girlfriend chaotically runs around getting dressed.

Boyfriend: Hey girl, whut up? How was girls' only night?

Girlfriend: So fun, but they made such a mess of my place. It's filthy.

BF: Sometimes girls can get messy. I know better than most.

GF: How'd your night go?

BF: Awesomely. But I'm pretty tired now. Had a late, late night. Barely slept.

GF: Oh baby, I'm sorry. Take a nap in my bed if you need to.

BF: When I get in a girl's bed the last thing on my mind is napping, ya know? But right now I'm pretty drained....

GF: Ugh, speaking of drains our bathroom sink has been clogged for days.

BF: My pipes were cleaned last night so I'm not having any trouble.

GF: Oh, and please, please, please remind me I've got to pick up my dress at 3:00 from the dry cleaners.

BF: This bone's been sucked dry. And cleaned. If you catch my drift.

GF: That reminds me! I've got to blowdry my hair before we go out. [walks into bathroom]

BF: Hah! I got blown dry last night.

GF: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BABY. I'M BLOW DRYING MY HAIR.

BF: I SAID I GOT A BLOW JOB LAST NIGHT!

GF: [coming out of the bathroom] Sorry baby, what'd you say?

BF: I got really drunk last night and met someone. She wanted me. I wanted her. The moment was right. She gave me a blow job.

GF: [taking out ear plugs] Huh?

BF: Last night I received fellatio from another female who isn't you.

GF: Oh, I know. I've been fucking your best friend all semester.

SHE WON!